How? To Love?

I John 4:19: "We love because he first loved us"

I have put a lot of thought and my mind about this scripture, then I found out about that I am able to love my "wife" (I'm not married, this is only an example) because of this verse.

It says we love because God first love us, God is love and He is the One who knows the ultimate meaning of love. There are a lot of opinions and meanings of love. Some people says, Love is sex, other people says Love is sacrifice, but they will not find the true meaning of love if they don't ask the creator itself. Only the inventor knows exactly about his inventions. So God is the creator of Love then we must ask Him about His creation.

God does not specifically says the meaning of Love in the bible, in I Cor 13:4-7:"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres". What is mentioned in this scripture is the example of Love but not the definition of Love. So what is the definition of Love?

God does not specifically says about the definition of Love, but instead, He shows it to us. One thing we can learns is that Love is an action not a definition, something that you must act not talk about it.

How He shows it to us? First, by become one of us, He became man and lives among us and He even describes Himself as our friend and tells us everything. I am a missionary and also can be called a pastor, I love my wife, but I let her knows me as her friend, I don't treat her as my congregation, I tell her everything about me, I don't hide my weaknesses in front of her, and she can accepts me as fully I am. If I am her pastor I wouldn't do that, if I am a missionary, I won't let her know my weaknesses, if Jesus didn't think His disciples as His friend, then He would not show His desperation, sadness, joy, anything to them. So love changes you to be the same level as him/her. You are not his dad so that you have authorities over her, you are not her son so that you are obeying her/him, but you are his/her friend so that you can walk together side by side. If Jesus tells everything to His friends and gives His life for them, then my wife is my very best friend that I can share any secret and give my life to her :)
II Corinthians 6:16b:"I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."

Secondly, He gave His own life for us not for His own good but for our goodness (Jn 3:16). Love is not selfish, you are not thinking about yourself, but you are thinking about his/her. You don't give in order to receive, you give because you love her. I heard a lot of people says like this, "I already do this for you, why don't you love me?", "I already sacrifice a lot for her, she's supposed to love me". This is definitely a selfish person. Guys, love is not something that you can buy, you give her something not because you should receive something back, only business does that. You don't say, I give you this and I want this in return, you just thinking for yourself, you just want her for you and your life, and you don't even think about her. It's called a business if you do that, let say I want PS3 for myself, then I should pay the right price for it.
But love is not a business like that, you don't say that you already pay the price to buy you.
Jesus, died for our goodness so that we can be saved, He did not die so that He can says to us, "You must worship me because I already died for you" but He hopes that you can realize His love and you come to Him with your own purpose and heart. All you can do is hope not force him/her. Jesus died for all people, there are people still rejecting Him and He does not force them but He hopes that they can come to Him.
See this, I never ask my wife to say "I love you" to me because if I ask, then she will say it, but she says it, not because of her own desire to say it but because you asked her to do it in order to make yourself feel good. But I want her to say on her own that she loves me, isn't that beautiful when you hear somebody says that words to you from their own heart?
Other thing is, when I realize that I love my wife, she already had a boyfriend that time. But I did not say like "Oh, she already have someone, I think I will just find another peson" but instead, because I love her so much I keep giving whatever I can for her own good and I said to her that I do not need anything in return, I just love you, I even supported her with her boyfriend that time if it was for her own good.
So love is not about you but it's about him/her, you do what is good for him/her and not asking anything in return, you just hope and be patient because Love is patient.
John 3:16:"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."

Lastly, why God loves us? It is because He loves you, there is no reason why He loves us. He loves you not because you come to church, He loves you not because you do good things, He loves you because He loves you. Your actions is not going to affect His love for you, neither your personality nor your looks. He does not need any reason to love you. Jesus, He died for all of us including people who hated Him that time and also even for people who crucified Him. He already chooses that He loves all people, the same like I already chose my wife to be the one. Even now, He still loves people who hates Him. Then you might ask, if He loves us, why don't He just saves us all, well it's because you don't want it. He already told them that He is the way, but they reject Him, they do not want Him, and He is not going to force them, and that is love. I never force my wife to choose me if she does not want to choose me even though I know that I will be the best for her. If she loves somebody else, and I love her, then I might support her to get the man whom she chooses. I don't love my wife because of her appearance or her personality, the first time when I knew her, I did not have any feeling toward her, none at all. But it was just someday that I don't know myself that I love her, and I dunno why I love her, I just love her until now. There are more beautiful girls than her, there are nicer girls than her, there are even more girls that you would think that it would be suitable for me. But I love her not because of her appearance, personalities, actions, or matches in your terms. I love her without any reason :)
So love is accepting him/her the way she/he is
Rm 8:39:"neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

So how do I know that I love my wife? It is because God showing me the way love supposed to be. These are not something that I act upon, this is something that I realize from love that I experience with my wife. Without Him showing His love for me, I would not know how to love :)
I John 4:19:"We love because he first loved us"